Mutual Friends and Breakup
Be prepared that you might have to cut all ties after a breakup
Breaking up is never easy. But when there are multiple ties to cut, as is the case when you have plenty of mutual friends, separation becomes even more difficult. And in extreme cases the only solution is to cut all the ties to your ex. A tough and painful job.
Breakup is Rarely Fun
Breaking up with somebody you don’t want anymore is pleasant only if you are sadistic – or if you hate your soon-to-be ex. Usually people break up for a reason – they have found somebody else, or have dramatically different interests and views on life, or simply the relationship has exhausted its potential. Of course, there are many other reasons for splitting but we are not going to analyze all of them here.
When you break up with somebody, you expect never to see them again – or at least not to see them soon. It is easy if you don’t have many mutual friends or places, like school or work, where both of you go. But unfortunately, this is a relatively rare case. Most often, after you break up, you will have to see each other – no matter if you like it or not. So, how to behave in such situations?
How to Behave After a Breakup
There is no general rule but using some common sense (which at moments like breakup is not exactly what you have) rather than emotions is much better. If you have been dumped, try not to show your pain. Also, using your mutual friends to attempt revenge or reunion is hardly a great idea, especially if you have been dumped because of your bad behavior. Asking for forgiveness when you are guilty and the other party is mad at you is rarely successful when you use mediators – i.e. your mutual friends.
On the contrary, if you have dumped your lover, you might feel sorry for them. Just don’t show it in public because by showing how much you pity them, you make them feel like real losers. If you still care for them, or at least have some positive feelings, avoid appearing with your present lover at places where your ex might be. Well, sometimes you will have to skip a party or two because you will hardly go there alone and leave your lover at home but if your instinct tells you that meeting with your ex is to be avoided, you’d better follow your intuition.
Sometimes the price of breakup with a lover is too high – you might have to break up with all or many of your mutual friends, if you notice that your ex is trying to use them in order to convince you to give him or her a second chance. But if you have to kick out the mutual friends as well because they are attempting to interfere, do not regret – usually such people are not worth as friends, so getting rid of them is not something to cry for.
On the other hand, the happiest end is when you break up with your lover in a civilized way and keep your good relationship with your mutual friends. This is not as impossible as it seems but in order to make it happen, all of you must be civilized adults and not fussy kids, who overact when something unpleasant has happened.
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