Singles, Dating, Relationships

True love can come at a price but true friendship is also priceless

If there is something worse than a love triangle, it is when you have to choose between your lover and your friends. This is a very common situation and the bad news is that very often you must make the choice – you can’t have both your lover and your friends and you need to choose only one of them. But how to make the right decision?

Making the right decision in choosing between your lover or your friends can vary from a no-brainer to a really tough case. It is needless to say that it is best if your new lover manages to integrate seamlessly into your group of friends but in many cases this is simply unachievable because of a variety of reasons – age difference, social status, background, personal likes and dislikes. Such a case would be when you are a lady in your 20s and your lover is over forty, a rich businessman who loves classical music and quality time. Can you imagine to integrate him into your group of hiphop crazy college students? No, in this case it is simply useless to try – the failure is predictable. So, you need to choose either your lover, or your friends.

The Easy Cases When You Have to Decide If Your Lover or Your Friends Deserve You More

Let’s first see the cases that are no brainers. You have a new lover, whom you don’t know very well yet and a group of friends who have been with you for decades. If you have no reasons to suspect your friends that they are being nasty to him or her because they are jealous, you’d better separate with your lover. If your friends are trustworthy, probably they see his or her shortcomings that are still invisible for you and are really acting to your advantage.

On the other hand, if you are pissed off with your selfish and unreliable friends (if they can be called friends at all), it is also easy – trash them and keep him or her. It might be more difficult for you to dump them and you might be cautious for putting all your eggs into one basket (i.e. choosing one lover over many friends) but this case is quality verses quantity, so you’d better have one person whom you can trust than 10 people whom you can’t rely upon.

How to Handle the Tough Cases of Choosing Between Your Lover and Your Friends

No-brainers are pretty common in life but so are the tougher cases. It is easy when one of the parties is at fault and the other party is as innocent as an angel. But what can you do when both parties are at no fault or when both parties suck? Again, let’s start with the easier case – when both parties suck.

When both parties suck, it is a safe bet that you should kick all of them and start looking for new friends/lover. Even if you are not a perfectionist, keeping a lousy relationship on – no matter if it is love or friendship only – is not worth the time and effort. It is much better to know that you have no friends or a lover than to be misled that you have reliable people around you, when the rats you call friends/lover are simply using you and will gladly betray you, if given the chance.

The toughest case is when both your friends and your lover are great people but they somehow can’t get along – or more likely can’t divide you. In this case the first step you must take is to try to reconcile them. If everybody is nice and reliable, there is a chance to reach a compromise. But still, have in mind that this might not work, so be ready to choose only one of them. Generally it is better to choose friends over your lover because in this case your choice is both quantity and quality but still, do not take this as a rule without any exceptions!

Related posts:

1. Mutual Friends and Breakup

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