Singles, Dating, Relationships

Sex might not be the most important thing in life but in a strong relationship it certainly is not a factor of minor importance. Sex compatibility can make or break a relationship. If you and your lover are not compatible in bed, this will create problems, even if there are no other misunderstandings between you.

What Is Sexual Compatibility?

Sex compatibility can be defined in many ways. The simplest explanation of sex compatibility is if your and your partner’s likes, desires and attitudes about sex are similar or totally different.

While it might not be very appropriate to make a detailed list of your sex likes, desires and attitudes and discuss it thoroughly on your first date, when you are in a marriage or in a long relationship, keeping silent about your and your partner’s sex likes, desires and attitudes is not the way to go.

Maybe the best moment to clarify your sex compatibility is after you have known each other for some time (2-3 months, or half an year) and have had sex a couple of times. The worst approach is to marry somebody and hope that this will make you sexually compatible. This is absolutely wrong because sex compatibility is a matter that must be discussed before a relationship becomes too serious and can be ended relatively painlessly, if there is no sexual compatibility between you.

Sex compatibility is not something that you can or ought to live without. If you are not compatible with your partner, at least one of you will suffer and feel frustrated. Sometimes sex frustration is silent but more often it leads to conflicts, adultery, and separation.

How Do You Measure Sexual Compatibility?

Some of the most common aspects of sex compatibility are the desired frequency and duration of sex intercourses and their nature. There are people who are sexually active and having sex every day is just the minimum to keep them satisfied. On the contrary, there are people who can do without sex for months on end and to them it is difficult to understand how somebody can want sex all the time.

It is a sex myth that all men are sexually active. There are men who can do without sex for a long time. On the contrary, there are women, who are always sex hungry. Probably you can imagine how sex compatible such people are!

On the other hand, it is true that people change, so even if you never considered sex a daily activity, with the suitable partner you might change your mind but this does not necessarily happen and you can’t rely on it. There are people for whom sex is a daily necessity and people for whom it is OK to have sex once in a while. And this is true for years on end!

In addition to the frequency of contacts, sexual likes and dislikes are another common pitfall. There are people who are conservative in bed and when asked to perform more liberal techniques (like oral sex), they feel sexually humiliated. It is not because they don’t love their partner but because their attitude to sex is more conservative. They are neither stupid, nor old-fashioned – they simply do not feel comfortable when pushed to behave like a porn star. In many cases these attitudes can be changed, but again – do not rely on this!

The above examples where just to give you an idea about how you can discover if you are sexually compatible with your partner or not. Sometimes your sexual compatibility is obvious and no questions need to be asked, while in other cases you have no clue if your partner really likes something or if he or she does it just to give you pleasure. In any case, you need to clarify your sex compatibility before your relationship gets serious. It is much better to end a relationship in the beginning than to pretend that you are sexually compatible when in reality you are not.