Singles, Dating, Relationships

Single life certainly has its charms, especially when it is a voluntary choice

When I talk to people who are in the family way but are really unhappy with their spouse or friend about why they stay in a relationship that is so incredibly painful to them, most often the answer is that they do it because of the kids (if any) or because they are afraid to be alone. And it is not only ladies who are afraid of being alone, i.e. being single.

Quite often it is men who can stand the really disgusting attitude and tricks of their wife/girl-friend just because they won’t or can’t break free. Honestly, if I had a “significant other” like the “significant others” of some of my friends and acquaintances, I would fear them more than the imaginary loneliness of the single state.

Well, I don’t mean that every couple is a “living with the enemy” example. On the contrary, there are many happy couples who are together because of love, not because of marriage chains or the fear of being lonely. And what all happy couples have in common is that they enjoy being with each other, rather than fake affection. And what is more important, they enjoy being together with other real couples, not with fake “lovebirds”. So, as it turns, the family way has two faces – a real and a fake one. Well, it is out of question which one is better!

But let’s return to the singles in the family world. Why is it so difficult to find (and retain) a partner? Is it because all good men/women are already taken (or maybe usurped, to be more precise) and only junk is left? Or is staying single a conscious choice as opposed to being locked in the coffin of a unhappy relationship? Or maybe it is due to the lack of social contacts – sometimes one has no potential partners, no matter how attractive he or she is.

Probably being single is due to all of the above reasons and many more. Although it is ridiculous to say that all good men/women are already taken, many people do not consider as a potential partner somebody who is currently in a relationship, even if this guy/girl strives desperately to break free. Having an eye for somebody who is already in a relationship can be regarded as stealing and for many people this is too far to go only because they like somebody. The presumption is that if somebody is in a relationship and does not leave their partner, then he or she is out of the dating market.

A very frequent reason for staying single is that when there is nobody good enough to be in a relationship with, staying single is better than getting hooked to somebody cheap. For people, who have already have had one or more unfortunate affairs, this behavior is most natural. For instance, if you have lost everything in a divorce from somebody you could barely stand from the very beginning, it is pretty normal to be cautious about new affairs – once burned, twice shy, as the saying goes. In the same group fall people, who have known true love and now they are unwilling to replace it with something fake, so they prefer to wait till they find somebody suitable than rush into an affair with the first guy/girl they come across.

The third reason – nobody suitable – is less frequent nowadays because even if you live in a hut at the end of the world, chances are that the Internet will help you meet new people. But still, for people who live in small communities and who do not have acquaintances outside the community, lack of social contacts is quite real. If you are in a situation like this, do not give up but think about how you can meet new people because if you are not making efforts to find love, love will hardly find you! The steps in this article are a good starting point in your efforts to find a partner.

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